Today i should have been in my country scotland ...at my mothers funeral .....but my anger and despise towards certain situations ....stopped me from attending which should have been a respectful day .....but situations created by family and long standing fued .....i went home to see my mum who was in hospital ...and realised this would be my last time i saw my mother .....it was a journey ..which caused me great disteress and opened my eyes to certain things
I realise families despise the truth ...always ....and unfortunately they only see the bad in you .....its easier that way ...they need someone to blame .....i will always be held accountable for things i never did ...and forgotten for what i did do .....but its what they call family values .....i will never be forgiven ever ..but i saw all i needed to see..pure hypocricy ,..of families ...which i why i never became a family oriented ....
i had to realise that my presence in this very day allowed somone the privilege to enjoy their health for more time .....as i find it hard to forgive people who leech steal rip-off and generally theive .....i find it unforgiveable .....
I despise the fact that a family has to use a death to pretend they care for each other .....but time will tell .......when they disband like traitors just like when my father died ...i am deeply saddened at the loss of my mother and i am happy she is free from the family underhandedness ...lies and disloyalty ........and competitive sibling stupidity ...which has divided our family for decades .....
my mother is united at last with my father ....a sense of relief is upon me as now this will maybe dispell my beliefs that m family has values and will unite ......i personally doubt this as it should have done in my fathers passing ......but lies....dishonesty....stealing ...backstabbing has been a common root disease which my father despised ......so only time will tell ...........