Tuesday, May 1, 2012


Ten things we  never knew about Osama 

1.He wanted to kill president Obama  well f*^# me  is that a real turn of events ...really he wanted to kill a  lot of people  he was  head of  AL- quieda ,he was  a terrorist after all and the president of the USA was after him ...here's a thought ,he killed a lot of people in new york 

2.he fantasized about blowing up oil tankers hey get in line people who have those gas guzzling suv's and hummers who only get  2.2 miles to the gallon  maybe have the same fantasies although they have jobs and  kids and shit ...and they really have BBQ,s and wives that bitch and moan if they do not mow the lawn ..... 

3.He was a hoarder ,well  this is not a biggy ...go to many garages in America  and you will not see  cars parked in there  but shit   give a  person room and they  will fill it with shit ...is this a  revelation...bollocks i say ..public storage is  a multi million dollar business  because  people  cant get rid of  shit ....

4.Now here is why i like the  guy  ......he had an  extensive porn collection ...welly well o well really .......wow !!! i mean  why the f*^#@ not ...what  guy does not have  a porn collection ( most guys have a  secret place form the missus unless she like the old  flicker....) Every guy should have  a porn collection if not why not ....who does not want to see a hot babe (  and of course if you are a  babe and like porn then guy .......or if you  are a switch hitter then either or! )

5. He liked to watch himself  ...what the hell does that mean !!!!  doing what/where/how/and why...that's is a subject that i am not really  going into  when people  say they like to watch themselves is that a showbiz thing or a kink thing,...johnny depp says he never likes to watch himself on TV or his movies  ...but that's  johnny depp ..you expect that from johnny depp ,i guess it might be a  terrorist thing or something narcissistic.....not for me  this subject.

6.He felt threatened by the Arab Spring ....i mean   what the hell is  that  ......i mean is that like the Arab version of  Irish spring soap

 ...i personally thought the guy never washed   maybe once in a blue  moon  i am  not sure of his cleaning ritual 

 ..i know  i  cannot stand the advertisement for Irish Spring soap it has  some  really annoying pseudo Irishman walking along the hills and shit and talking about freshness i am sure this has no correlation with Arab spring because i have never seen it  advertised unless its on AL tweezeras or whatever it is  called ..i hate the smell of Irish spring it smells nothing of Ireland .......

7.He was  largely isolated and  flailing ....well who the hell wants to sit and eat popcorn and watch family guy and the Simpson's with the most wanted dude on the planet ...hey fame does  strange shit  ...Frank Sinatra was  isolated and flailing so  was j.d Salinger and Stanley Kubrick ....maybe he just hated  hanging round a  bunch of  guys  annoying his ass  when he was  watching porn ...

8.He was  delusional....well what guy is not delusional .

I think i have  bouts of delusion i tend to think i may one day find a  deaf/dumb/and blind version of Nicole shrezinger ..with the cans of Heidi klum and her dad is a mechanic her brother is  a laptop repair specialist and her uncle  has a gun store .

.what guy is not delusional ...look at the American govt ..the  secret service tried to get a cheap hooker  ...that my friends is  delusional ...the apple  does not drop far  he is  normal here 

9.He was depressed and wanted to re-name al-quieda......boo hoo -sob what the hell was he going to  call it .....dudes with table clothes.....men in strange hats ....Arab spring......AL -denti-   new york cab co .....al quieda pizza and  hot dogs ....geez that's  the least of your  problems  when the worlds  mercenaries are  looking for your  ass  you have way more  things to be  depressed about than  a  fricking  name  .....

10. he was the last  word on terrorism ,yes he  also had  ...Saddam Hussein he  really  screwed up the atmosphere  by setting fire to  a hundred and  20 odd wells  thus  causing an air vacuum in the planet and  using up 25 years of  air and pollution   by what he  did   but we  do not care about that  because  we  all know   global warming is  a business  right !!! .

. and colonel Qaddafi the self made man of fashion  he  had  better  designers working for  him  that  Gianni  versace  his  clothes were  outrageous  not  to mention he had  a guy  do  hair  plugs for  him   ( maybe the same guy that does  Joe bidens )   and  plastic surgery to look young  hey  when your  stealing a  countries wealth  whats  the difference  your getting  all your shit done for  free at the people's  expense  so ya  got to look good  when you are  being hunted  ..

.he might have  used the same hairdressers as the  the real housewives of orange county ....

although his sunglasses were second to none .....
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quitting social media

I think one of the best things I ever did in 2017....... apart from  shortening my list of people in my life .......because like I say ......