Friday, June 16, 2017

20 parenting mistakes



i am not a  psychologist........ or  a psychiatrist  .........who as soon as  kids get out of  hand  write  a script..........

but here is  an article  20 parenting mistakes ...........you don't need  kids  to   see  what  goes on  ........simply pay attention to life  around you !!!!!

here's  my version ......... take it or  leave it i simply don't  give a rats  ass  ....

I never  had  kids  .........never  wanted  them  ......for a  myriad of  reason .....too many too mention .........but i have  plenty experience.........  and  visual  experience on  what parents  do......... and make a mistake  ......

and funny enough ......... when you tell  parents they are  making a mistake .......... they get  testy .......... as if  they are the  kid  ambassadors ......

simply here is  the  mistakes and  woes  especially in America  ....that  parents  make .....

1.....your  kid is not the first coming of  Christ ..........for  Christs  sakes..........the mistakes  especially American mothers  make  is they put the  kid  before  anything ........wrong !!!!!......

the french have   a  system of  respect .........the man is still the  head of house ......... even when a kid comes  along its  till last ......

2.i see it   all the time ..........the women  carrying the  kid it can walk ....let it walk.......  it build  up  strength  in its  legs  ..........i see women  carrying the  littler  buggers on their  sides .......they  can walk  its  why they have  legs .......

3.don't  put the  father  last....... he is  head of the  household  .........this is  why 1 out 3 children.......... are  form  single parent families .............a  child  needs a  father  ........its  called  balance  ......i know  some of the  liberals   are  not gonna  like it   ....but a  kid  needs a  mother  and  a father ............helps  him/her ......they  grow up  respectful ...........and  do not talk to the mother  like  shit .....

4.the kid  cannot have everything ............It  should be  made  to learn  to respect  the   stuff it has  ...........i know   grandparents  are    really the  promoters of  this  ....i saw  that  shit with my own  eyes  .....


5.the kid  has  no right to  dominate your  life........... your its  parents   get a fucking spine  ...........and  take  charge of your  kid  ......if you cannot  control your  kid  then you do not  deserve  one .....simple ........

6.you have to  communicate with your  kid in a  respectful manner ......get on your  knees .......... and look them in the eyes  .....it always  works ............always .....they do not  feel  threatened 

7.i have seen  many........ many kids  .......young as a hell  hit their  parents  .......this is  a big no..........  as soon as  they start it one  time they have to lose  all privileges .......this only leads  to  an abusive child ......which turns into an  abusive  adult  ....and so on and  so forth .......

8.you should never  tell your kid  they will  never  amount to a hill of  beans.............. or   there  abouts ....they have  to know they have  self  worth ........or they Will grow up  kardashian ......(fucked up in the  head  and the dad  being a  bitch )

 9.kids  got to  know  values  ...handing it everything ..........will just  make the  kid   turn out  to  be  a spoiled  bastard ......spoil them with  love  and respect   .........not a material possession to  pawn off  affection .......seen that one   in close  quarters .......

10.....as well as the kid  respecting you  .........it has  to  respect all  people  who are related ............ elders  .........and people  who  have seniority ........once  again  seen this  is  close   quarters  ..............as shite  parent will raise a  shite  disrespectful  kid .......and  will have  no respect for its   elders ..........

11.kids have to  be  taught lesson  on stealing  ...........values.........  drugs...........  and    if you are afraid  to  confront them..........  because you think it will shock ...........offend  them   ...then  tough ......simple  they need  to be  shocked ......

12....you have  to  teach them to  defend  themselves ......... verbally ......... and  mentally  and  physically ........a  weak  kid  will always  be  picked on  .........and bullied ............. and end up like  a kardashian .....or similar  fucked  up   piece of  shit  kid .......

13.self esteem .........and self  worth .......beating on  your  kid  mentally  Will only   lead  to   worse   self image  ...........time in = time out ......you will only get out of your  kids  what you put into them ......simple ...............

14.you have  to  have  family time ........and make it  important   ..........sitting around a  TV dinner  ..........and   not talking and  communicating  this is  how  families  fall apart ........ask them  constantly whats on their  mind .......

15.you must never   make the husband  feel  he is  just a paycheck ..........or  as  source of  income  to support  the  kid............s  let the man keep  his  balls..........  and spine .......and he will feel  like a man ......trying to be the  feminist mommy.......... and  do it all  is  not  good ...........your  not  fucking superwoman your  a mother .......yep a mother!!!!!!.....you are  not  the  friend  to the  kids .....your the parent ,,,,,,, and parents  make rules .........

16.don't lie to  your kids ,,,,,,,,, when they  confront you .....tell them the truth ...its  always  better  i the long run .......

17.don't  live your  dream through your  children ............ and make them seem they are   doing what they  want.......... when its  what you want  ............because you lost  your dream  ......you cannot live your  dream  through your  kids  .....let them   decide  what they  want .....not what you want .....if  the kid  wants  something let them  do it .........

18.you kid is  not that special kid ......don't act like its  the only fucking kids in the universe   .........and   be an asshole ..........other people  kids  are cute  an   all .......don't use your  kid  as a self image  prop ...........to make you feel  good about  your life ..........its their  life .......

19.......... your  kids  are not collateral in anyway shape or  form  ...........using them as a bartering tool  ...........or  as  a bribing mechanism  to  satisfy your own  goals ............. only proves  your  a  sadistic ........... evil cunt of the highest order ......using kids  to bribe  your  husband.......(especially in marital grounds of disagreement.......separation......divorce.....)......  or  grandparents ............(shit i  fucking spent  a lot of time  seeing that  bribery bollocks  with my parents).............kids  remember  trauma ..........and it  damages  them  in some  way or  another ........you may think it doesn't  but it does .........

20.and lastly............ they   only emulate what they see  ...............if they see  bad ..........they  do bad  .............monkey see  ....monkey  do...............if the kid sees you being a  disrespectful cunt  and  getting away with it .............it will follow ......show yourself  respect........... and the  kid  will  follow  by your  example .......

you only get one chance with kids .....there are no dress rehearsals in life .......before you know it the kid  is  bringing its own  kid home ........

cherish their childhood.......... let them live the childhood...............  and then they will pass on their cherished memories ..........

a family will become strong if you fight for what is right .....just walking away and  simply divorcing .........only leaves  bad memories ......

children need a  harmonious balance of   parents.......

I am not  an  ambassador of marital bliss............ or life matters .....but i have witnessed.............  and experienced  enough and saw  enough ............ to clarify .....what i think may help .......its only a blog .......and opinions  differ ........one to another ......even if one person walks away with a piece of  advice ....then  it's  all worth it ........




The Most Common Parenting Mistakes

I'm a Family Psychologist and These Are the 20 Most Common Parenting Mistakes I See

Most parents try to do what's best for their children. What happens when we don't even realize our behavior is harmful? Our friends at Fatherly share with us 20 common partenting mistakes.

What are some common mistakes parents make that could actually hurt their children's mental and physical health in the long term?

I have seen so many good intentions go horribly wrong over the years that can result in self-harm, suicide and, in extreme cases, even murder. Here are some of the most common mistakes that can be really harmful to kids.

1. Giving Them Too Many Choices

Many parents think children always should have endless choices, when the reality is kids can be overwhelmed if they're always given so many options.
Setup Timeout Error: Setup took longer than 30 seconds to complete.

2. Praising Them For Everything They Do

It's very common now to see kids who are almost junkies for praise. They won't do anything unless there is a payoff for them.

3. Trying to Make the Child Happy

Their job is to learn to make themselves happy, and you can never force a child to be happy.

4. Overindulging Them

They will almost always end up believing acquisitions lead to happiness. This sets up chasing the never-satisfying carrots, and can result in addictions and compulsions.

5. Keeping Them Too Busy

Most commonly with sports. Many parents wrongly believe "activities" will keep their kid out of trouble, but often times this will lead to the child being burned out or even becoming a bully.

6. Thinking Smart Will Save Them

It can be tempting for parents to promote smart as the end-all-be-all. Yet this can lead to a child becoming arrogant, thinking everyone else is stupid or secretly believing that they have to put on an act and are a fraud. As a result, nobody likes them.

7. Thinking a Strict Religion Will Give Them Perfect Values and Save Them

The first time they see hypocrisy in their parents or the touted beloved leaders, the house of cards start to fall.

8. Withholding Common Information About Important Topics — Like Sex

Many parents are terrified of talking about sex, and believe avoiding discussing it with their children will save them. But I've seen 13-year-old girls get pregnant, sometimes just to flaunt it at their parents.

9. Being Hyper-Critical of the Child's Mistakes

It can be easy to assume intense scrutiny promotes success and makes kids better. But kids raised this way are driven to perfection in everything from looks, likability, sports, smarts, or you name it. When a mistake happens, they are worthless as a human being and start getting so angry that in some cases they will resort to self-harm even to the point of suicide.

10. Using Shame, Shunning, or Threats

Never imply that there is a chance you might not love your child due to their actions, as some parents do so in order to get their kids to achieve compliance. It is a short term gain with abandonment lurking in the shadows. Then the child doesn't care either.

11. Making Kids Do Things Inappropriate For Their Age

I have 3 patients right now who, by age 4, were having to feed themselves and/or had to be in charge of a sibling also. I've seen many who didn't have children of their own because as they all said; "I raised my family."

12. Not Limiting Screen Time

Whether it's TV, video, games, phone or texting. I know a family where the mom and teenage son text each other constantly and no one else can get into their relationship link.

13. Not Letting Kids Get Bored

Some parents think children are supposed to be stimulated at all times and it's their job to avoid boredom. Then kids don't learn to be creative and find the way out of boredom in themselves.

14. Protecting Kids From Their Own Consequences and Loss

I see parents with good intentions get their kids everything, from a simple toy to buying them out of legal trouble, and suddenly are surprised when the child respects nothing. All of us need to learn losing is just another way to gain wisdom and experience about what not to do.

15. Not Letting Kids Play Dangerously

The Forest Kindergarten schools have shown the children get sick less, are more well adjusted and also get along better than their regulated indoor peers.

16. Not Debriefing Kids at Bed Time

"What happened today?" Children sleep better and feel loved when the parent shows an interest in what happened that was significant to them in their own lives.

17. Not Reading to Very Young Children

Reading requires the child to be still, be quiet, and use their imagination. All the things videos don't. It prepares them for listening in school and being able to use their imagination for creativity and alternatives as a resource.

18. Pulling Pacifiers Too Soon

Parents know the pacifier is an outward symbol of insecurity, so they tend to take it away as soon as they can, instead of getting the child secure where it would drop-out naturally. I have adult patients who secretly suck their thumbs.

19. Not Regulating Food

And especially inquiring: "Are you full?" When this happens, typically your kid will load the plate again. That is an old survival program from our heritage as scarcity, when food was not available. Kids then chase a full-filled sensation, not understanding each time you fill yourself, your stomach adapts to that as normal and expands.

20. Spanking Children Older Than 5

Parents think it will teach them to be good, but using corporal punishment never works as well as love. I see all kinds of patients where the concept of 'Spare the rod — spoil the child' was anything but. No spoiling, just oppositional, angry, bullying, deceiving, fearful or performing automatons.
Author Mike Leary is a psychologist who primarily deals with relationships and parenting.















oh really not the sharpest knives in the drawer

well...... welly well oh well ......out come the idiots ....were there  not warnings about looking at the  eclipse  .......without  glasses...