Monday, June 30, 2025

hERE IS MY TWO FUCKING CENTS .........

 The problem with these  women........ is they think their shit  does not stink !!!!!!!....really the  career women .......... do not  want to  be    under the man ......... they will always tell you  that ........ what they achieve..........  and  an empowered  women........ is a pain in the  fucking arse   it's a  fucking fact  jack ......black women have a  fucking attitude right off the top      and  a   empowered  one  the  guys   just do not  want to deal with their  fucking shit ........women in business are too emotional........ at the  best i have worked for 3 women ........ all cunts........ all of  them.........    they do not  like it when you tell them  how  things are   .....i deal in logical  and that  burns there  arse   i have nothing but problems  with  female bosses  ....... plus i am a  pig and  a misogynist ........so that does not help  neither   oh welly!!!!!well!!!!!! oh well !!!!!!!.......



I'm a successful Black woman. So why aren't men into me?

Welcome back to 'Ask Amy & T.J.' In this week's column, Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes answer a heartbreaker (expletives included).

7 min read
Our reader knows she's a catch, but can't figure out why men don't seem to see it. Amy and T.J. think maybe she's asking the wrong question. (Photo Illustration: Yahoo News, photo: Getty Images)
Our reader knows she's a catch, but can't figure out why men don't seem to see it. Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes think maybe she's asking the wrong question. (Photo illustration: Yahoo News, photo: Getty Images)

Want relationship advice from Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes? Email askamyandtj@yahoo.com with a question for the chance to be featured on Ask Amy & T.J. Hear more from the pair on their podcast.

Amy & T.J.,

I’m a 42-year-old Black female, 195 pounds, 5’11”. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I have natural hair and a natural body type. I’m educated and have a good career. I own my home and car and play tennis, swim and do yoga. I travel and volunteer in my community.

Yet, now, where I live in northern New Jersey and previously in Pennsylvania, North Carolina and in Westchester County, N.Y., it’s the same: I’m ignored in the dating pool. I go to singles events and join groups to no avail. I tried dating apps, but no success there either. I choose not to be on social media. I don’t have any close friends or family to make introductions. What else can I do?

My question is: What is it that men are looking for? I’m interested in both of your perspectives.

— F.

Gut reaction

T.J. Holmes: Damn, girl. The first thing you wanted to mention was your size. That’s on your mind. This is a little bit of a heartbreaker. I would like to talk to you. I would like to hug you.

AR: I can’t say for sure what men are attracted to. But I can tell you what I think it is: I think that every person gives off an energy. And if you love yourself and you think you’re putting your best foot forward, that reads as attractive. Confidence is sexy. Knowing who you are and loving who you are is sexy. When you love yourself, you become lovable. I know, it sounds cheesy, but I believe it!

On further thought…

AR: I would ask you to try to focus less on what you can do to make a man like or love you, and focus on making yourself the best version of you, so you can feel proud of yourself and love yourself. And then I think the men will come! You need to date yourself and fall in love with yourself, and then that smile on your face, the twinkle in your eyes — that will be there, and that’s attractive to other people.

TH: Your question translates to me as: “Hi Amy and T.J., what’s wrong with me?” You’re listing your whole résumé and wondering, “Why doesn’t anybody want me?” You can’t look at it that way. There is nothing on planet Earth wrong with you. It seems like you think it’s your fault that you’re not getting dates with men. I hate any time I hear that — and it seems to come from women more often than men.

The apps, the mixers — things you’ve done to meet people are fine. But relax. Don’t try so hard to be something to attract what you think you want. You think you want that guy, but you had to do what to get him? Change this, change that. Eventually, that gets you to a point where the other person realizes you’re not really who they thought you were. Be who you really are. And that will attract what you really deserve.

I would ask you to try to focus less on what you can do to make a man like or love you, and focus on making yourself the best version of you, so you can feel proud of yourself and love yourself.

Amy Robach

AR: It’s so much easier to be yourself instead of pretending to be somebody else that you think they might be attracted to.

Maybe instead of trying to find a boyfriend, try to just find some friends. I think if you approach meeting people from that perspective, it takes the pressure off. Look around and ask if people want to hang out and go out and do things. The more you’re out, the more you’re social, the more possibility there is — you never know what will happen or who you’ll meet! But if you’re trying to force it and trying to find someone who will like you romantically, that’s so much pressure. And that pressure you’re putting on yourself is probably affecting your energy. And, in turn, that energy might be undermining your attempts to actually find a partner.

Mor



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