Sunday, July 14, 2024

TAKING BACK .......

 


This is why i am single ......i think you get fed up with he  same  bint  ........or  vice versa ......bint being  chick/trick/wife/lover/GF/.....whatever you call it .....look at j-lo/affleck....woods/his wife (cannot remember her name .... blonde bint ).......jeff bezos/mackenzie.......bill gates melinda/.....they all plunderered other pussy .....once you cheat ........ it is like....... i will always say ......once the dish is cracked ...it is never  the same .......if the wife is not giving you the goodies and  suchlike .....a man is  going to find a  chick..... that will .....and there  are  always  chicks that will steal a happily married man....... and  break up a family  always  .......it happens  all the time ....the divorce rate is  like 2 out of  every 3 .....marriages ......apparently ......i guess some fuckers like the taste of  wedding cake ....i do .....for sure  and  the  open bar ....although i do not  drink   a drunk chick is  always around ........weddings are insane .......for  getting into trouble .........

People Who Took Back Their Cheating Spouses Reveal What Happened Next

BuzzFeed
14 min read

Can a marriage survive infidelity? To find out, we gathered responses from people on Quora who took back their cheating spouses and tried to save their marriage. Read on to see how things worked out:

A person stands in the foreground watching a couple embracing on a bed in the background
Motortion / Getty Images/iStockphoto

1."I'm in my second year with my wife who cheated. We had couples therapy, and she promised never to do it again (mmmm). I can honestly say that although she is trying and things are good, there are several BUTS... I have minimal to zero trust in her now and don't think I ever will. The sex just isn't the same anymore; that spark has gone, and I'm not as bothered to have regular sex as before. I love and care for her, but I'm not in love with her as I was before the betrayal. Lies, betrayal, and cheating tend to have this effect on people."

JayJay, Quora

2."I had a husband who cheated. He redeemed himself in every way, but there was always this feeling in the back of my mind. A couple of years later, when he came home from a business trip, I felt something was amiss. Then, my doctor called to remind me to come in for my yearly checkup. Really? I had just been there four months previously! Long story short, my husband had gonorrhea, passed it on to me, and had my doctor call me in with some kind of pretense so I would not find out. Needless to say, I divorced him. Once a cheater, always a cheater."

Karin L.W., Quora

3."I've handled infidelity in my marriage, and instead of divorcing, I decided to forgive, learn, and rebuild my marriage. I didn't do it for the kids. I didn't do it for her. I did it because I wanted to. I wanted to work things out. I hated every fiber of what she did. I love my wife. I've never not loved her; I just hated what she did. I say hated and not hate because it isn't something I think about. I share my experiences here, but these are not my daily thoughts. I'm thinking about our next vacation, not something that happened 15 years ago. We were different people 15 years ago. We have grown since then."

"I share this because, yes, your relationship can end if you want it to. Or you can try to save your relationship if you're indeed with the person you love. Whatever you decide will change you forever."

Blake R., Quora

Top: Patrick Wilson as Brad Adamson, Sadie Goldstein as Lucy Adamson, and Jennifer Connelly as Kathy Adamson sitting at a kitchen table with coffee. Bottom: Patrick Wilson shirtless in bed with Kate Winslet as Sarah Pierce
New Line Cinema /©New Line Cinema/Courtesy Everett Collection

4."My boyfriend has changed in so many ways since he cheated. He keeps his phone unlocked at all times. He is thoughtful and considerate. He looks out for me, and I can't deny that he loves and treats me well. That said, the trust is gone. And although it is being rebuilt, there are so many triggers, and my threat perception is always present. Whereas before I felt this ease and security, it is now replaced with these creeping suspicions that it will happen again. I still get this intense well of anxiety and pain when I know he is talking to a woman he is working with. I am fearful of every woman."

"I'm a very attractive and high-status woman (not arrogant, just accurate), and he cheated on me with this really unattractive, low-life, trashy woman. I don't mean to be unkind, but she really has nothing going for her. I say that because now I have no clue who a 'threat' is. I see literally every woman as a threat. I fear that he secretly has a thing with another woman or is plotting his next girl in line.

Also, our sex has never recovered. Not to get too personal, but we were in the kink community and did a lot of BDSM. A lot of extremes. We used to have sex for three to four hours a day. And now we're very toned down. Since the trust isn't there, it's different. It's not as fun because, in my head, I will occasionally think about what the sex with 'her' was like. If he said and did the same things.

Finally, and most painfully, my confidence has not returned. I know that objectively I'm a '10,' according to many. I'm an amazing girlfriend; I'm educated, compassionate, and successful. But I still feel inadequate, like a second choice. My self-esteem has taken such a hit because I'll often judge myself for getting back with someone who disrespected me for so long and abandoned the home I created for us so he could pursue something with a toad. And even though he treats me well now, the damage and intense suffering I endured for six months makes me question both my sanity and my taste."

Anonymous, Quora

5."I cheated on my husband. He stayed with me, but 10 years later, I know he still hasn't forgiven me. I was in a very dark place when I did that, and no, it wasn't an affair. It was just sexual, but it lowered my value in my husband's eyes. It's easier for a man to come back from cheating than a woman. I'm not the same woman I was then, that's for sure. But it still causes bitterness between us. My answer is yes, you can forgive. Forgetting is the problem. Couples have come back from it, but very few."

Avi J., Quora

6."My wife cheated on me. When I found out, it was like my entire life was lopsided and upside down. I was sick, angry, hostile, so deeply hurt. I felt dizzy, everything felt unreal. I decided to try to make it work. It was super rough. I tried to forgive her, but all of her lies and deceit throughout the years were intruding into my brain. I had to know everything. I would yell at her on trips and tell her how awful she was and ruin the trip. I left her and then got back together with her about 20 times. Every time I thought I could forgive, something would trigger me, and I would rage. I would find the smallest things to be mean about: 'I'm hungry for a pizza. Did you guys have pizza after you had sex? I bet you did, you slut! I bet you guys were real hungry after a marathon!'"

"She would cry. I would tell her she deserves worse. Then, I would leave angry and come back feeling sorry, sad, and confused. I would ask for explicit details and then get super pissed off and call her a whore.

It all came to a head when I told her the only way I could ever forgive her was if she experienced my pain. I told her that I was going to cheat on her to show her how it felt. She begged me not to. I reveled in her pain, and I did it anyway.

Then I went home and told her everything we did. I watched her cry in horror. At first, it felt good, then I asked myself, what the hell am I doing? I'm becoming just like her. I'm awful. What a crappy thing to do to someone.

We caused each other so much pain over eight months, then we separated for two. After that break and talk of divorce, we began to talk like we never had before. We talked about how we ever got to where we were. Why we cheated and hurt each other. We finally started understanding the problems in our marriage — the lack of intimacy, the cruelty, the resentment over problems we never dealt with, the neglect, the disrespectful comments, and the way we abused each other verbally.

We were finally understanding how it all blew up. Somehow, over a few months, anger, lies, and resentment turned into forgiveness. Somehow, we learned from it all and became better people. We stopped lying and deceiving each other. We created a safe environment to say anything, even things that sting and hurt.

We no longer had a Disneyland idea of what a marriage was supposed to be. We now didn't take each other for granted but took care of one another. We unlocked our phones and shared them. We gave each other our passwords and secret emails. We talked about private things that we kept from each other for over a decade. We admitted wrongs.

It has been over 10 years since then, and she is now my best friend, and we are so happy.

People who say, 'Once a cheater, always a cheater,' don't understand that life is more complicated than that. They prefer bitterness over forgiveness. I'm here to say that forgiveness is possible, but you have to be willing to put in a lot of work, have patience, and be willing to forgive."

Jason


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