Todays weak generation cannot handle words never mind this .........can you imagine .....especially america ...the land of the free home of the brave ........
Shameless Vintage Ads That Were Once Socially Acceptable
As time has gone on, ads have become more and more socially progressive. Sure, people have fought that progress every step of the way, but there usually isn’t blatant ignorance in advertising campaigns anymore. After all, companies don’t want to do anything to hurt their bottom line.
Be prepared to be shocked by what the 1940s, ‘50s, ‘60s, and ‘70s let fly when it came to their advertisements. These ads will make you laugh (or maybe even cry) because of their absurdity. Today, ads such as this would get excoriated on Twitter and other social media sites. But, decades ago, no one batted an eye.
1. Thank Goodness for Lipton
Company: Lipton Tea
Year Released: 1942
Lipton Tea was, we assume they thought, telling hard truths. While your husband would still leave you eventually because you couldn’t make tea, Lipton would at least soften the blow and slow that impending doom. Or something. This 1940s ad was an example of advertisers trying to be witty and missing the mark.
Lipton Tea is still pretty popular as one of the best-selling teas in the world. It hasn’t been slowed by its track record of cringeworthy ads, as Lipton has a brand value, as of 2022, of around $10.57 billion. That’s nearly $2 billion more than its 2018 net value.
2. Your Daily Workout
Company: Total Cereal
Year Released: 1971
Lizzo would write some pretty vicious bars about this little ad, which General Mills released for its Total Cereal brand in 1971. Just think—you could eat cereal, clean the house, and not gain weight. Total would watch your vitamins while you weighed yourself to stay slim.
Total’s great and all, but this ad isn’t exactly body-positive. An ad like this would get excoriated on social media and blogs. While Total is full of vitamins and, admittedly, is a pretty healthy breakfast choice when compared to sugary cereals out there, we’re glad General Mills has abandoned this ad campaign.
3. Poor Tracy Harper
Company: Sears
Year Released: 1970s
If Sears thought this was “chubby” in the ‘70s, they should see the kids walking around today. Sure, childhood obesity is a huge issue in the world (i.e. America), but Tracy Harper didn’t deserve this, because she wasn’t even remotely chubby. She just looks like a kid. This ‘70s ad was showing off “fashionably, chubby size[d]” clothing.
The ad isn’t geared toward the Tracy Harpers of the world, and we hope Tracy didn’t even see this casually cruel piece of work. It’s geared towards mothers buying clothes for their “chubby” daughters. Sears went out of business because of bad management in the late 2000s. At least, before going under, the department store ditched the body-shaming ads.
4. You Bet Your Sweet… What?
Company: DataComp Systems Inc.
Year Released: 1970
This ad raises some eyebrows, as it’s hard to decipher exactly what Datacomp is talking about with this one. “You bet your sweet Telex operator it is” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. From what we can tell, this ad shows a digital computer beneath a Telex keyboard (or something—technology in the ‘70s was confusing).
So, do you think this is sexist? It’s definitely weird, but it seems oddly fitting for the ‘70s. The seventies was a time of technology that blew everyone’s minds, including hits like the floppy disk, cell phone, portable cassette player, and more.
5. The Future Is Clean
Company: Procter & Gamble (Lestoil)
Year Released: 1968
“Women of the future will make the Moon a cleaner place to live.” Where to start with this ad? Lestoil was a cleaning product made by Procter & Gamble, and apparently, it was the cleaning product of the future, as you could use it to shine the surface of the Moon’s arid, gray rocks.
Of course, it wouldn’t be astronauts or scientists sent up to the Moon colony first—we’d send Women Cleaners, as they would get the place habitable. Lestoil is now mostly used for heavy-duty household stains (the stains that make you consider ripping up the entire carpet), rather than hypothetical Moon colonies.
6. Calling All Lonely Guys
Company: SEGA
Year Released: 1990s
SEGA, a Japanese video game company headquartered in Tokyo, is a huge MNC that brings in billions in Japanese yen a year. SEGA’s most popular game was Sonic the Hedgehog, which was released in 1991 and sold fifteen million copies.
In addition to that background information, SEGA was also super into gross ads. Its ads in the 1990s, no doubt done to garner attention, were pretty much all perverted. Reading this ad for its 16-bit Megadrive is as cringe-worthy as it gets, and it almost makes the whole “cancel culture” thing (if you believe that’s a thing or not) preferable by comparison.
7. Like Mother, Like Daughter
Company: Post
Year Released: 1950s
Who knew Grape Nuts had a fat-shaming history? Post’s cereal might have seemed the most boring of the bunch, but Grape Nuts was going overboard in the fifties with its “Like mother, like daughter ad.” Grape Nuts, according to Post, was a great protein cereal because it would help keep you thin.
Post Grape Nuts are a pretty healthy cereal, as they’re lower in sugar than a lot of the unhealthy breakfast foods we see lining the aisles of supermarkets. These “lose weight or else” cereal ads would continue into the 1970s before the ‘80s showed them the door.
8. Rugged Man Stuff
Company: Beach Jeans
Year Released: 1960s
At first, looking at the photo, you’d think this ad was showing off some plaid short shorts for men, which would be unusually progressive for the 1960s (the decade we’re guessing Beach Jeans released this). Beach Jeans was showing off its SceneJeans, and it used the questionable slogan, “Male makes it exciting.”
The caption says that these “sexy new” jeans were made from “rugged man stuff!” And they said that without a bit of irony, either. This ad has everything from the sixties—a man in tight pants, a groovy disco woman, and a lot of loud fonts.
9. Now With Extra Large Snack Sack
Company: Shempley’s Department Store
Year Released: 1954
This was pretty sassy for 1954. Shempley’s Department Store, a department store that has now joined the thousands of defunct, sad, dead stores of its kind, ran this advertisement for Action Pants by Sansabelt in the 1950s.
“A man of action needs to wear pants of action!” the slogan read, and the Sansabelt pants were unique because they were the only pants to have a “patented action zone.” The action zone was, as you can see here, the crotch of the pants. This risqué ad was certainly attention-getting, but these ploys weren’t enough to save Sansabelt, which went out of business in 1967.
10. She’s Always Ready
Company: Winnebago
Year Released: 1970s
The Winnebago Chieftain II looks like the type of RV that you’d see in a horror movie before things go horribly wrong for the passengers. Chieftains from the ‘80s, amazingly, are worth around $9,600 (that’s $25,000 less than the retail price), and Chieftains from the ’70s cost even less.
This ad used a model and suggestive language to sell the Chieftain II, and you could even order one at the bottom of the catalog. “Drive her anywhere. Park here anywhere. She’s ready for anything” was the slogan, and this recreational vehicle matched that creepy description to a T.
11. 4 Good Reasons
Company: Delta
Year Released: 1970s
Being an airline stewardess in the seventies was pretty rough, we assume. You had to deal with insane weight and height requirements, and the airline was pretty blatant about the fact that you were eye candy. Take this ad from Delta, for example, which labeled its stewardesses “4 good reasons” that Delta’s “the best thing” to happen to “air travel.”
Delta tried to soften the headline with a paragraph about how the flight attendants “personify the spirit” of the airline (whatever that means), but, considering the time and context, it’s pretty clear what this ad is advertising and how it’s doing it.
12. The Things Women Have To Put Up With
Company: Heinz
Year Released: 1950
If your husband yawns at the dinner table, it’s because you’re not feeding him Heinz Condensed Cream of Tomato Soup. This ad from 1951 was pulled from an issue of National Home Monthly. The ad gets worse when you zoom in, as one of the first lines is a semi-lamentation that husbands “have stopped beating their wives.”
Or have they? If they get fed the wrong soup, these “sensitive souls[s]” might just snap. The fifties must have been a stressful time to be a woman, as it doesn’t seem like serious issues, such as domestic violence, were even taken remotely seriously.
13. It Can Happen To You…
Company: Listerine Antiseptic
Year Released: 1949
In 2018, Listerine’s annual sales exceeded $354 million, making it the most-used mouthwash brand in America. Listerine has never been afraid to spend a lot on ads, and it has an ad budget of $111 million. It’s been throwing ads at the American public for years, and it has changed with the times.
Thankfully, or Listerine would see its stock plummet if it released an ad like this 1949 one warning women that, “It could happen to you.” This ominous admonishment referred to bad breath, of course, something that only women have. Don’t worry ladies, as Listerine was here to save the day for post-WWII damsels in need of man.
14. So That’s How Santa Keeps His Boots Shiny
Company: Griffin Microsheen
Year Released: Late 1950s
Griffin Microsheen ads were for men’s shoe polish, but you’d be hard-pressed to find men taking center-stage in this late-1950s round of ads. Instead, a woman in a barely-there nightie was saying some weird stuff about Santa Claus. Santa innuendo, nipples, and a Christmas tree came together in this ad to sell…boot polish.
Griffin’s ads made appearances in magazines geared toward men, such as Playboy. Their ads were pretty racy, so Griffin’s ads were only allowed in certain publications. Though the ‘50s often has a reputation as a demure, chaste time, that wasn’t really the case in advertising, as you can see here.
15. Everyone Needs An Alley-Oop
Company: 7-Up
Year Released: 1963
7-Up promised to give its male customers an “Alley-Oop” in this series of targeted ads in the ‘60s. If your girlfriend was beating you at bowling in 1963, all you had to do was take a shot of sweet, sugary 7-Up and you’d be back in it to win it. The ad promised “brand new energy” in “2 to 6 minutes.”
Really, it was a sugar high. 7-Up, Sprite’s biggest competitor, has thirty-eight grams of sugar in a twelve-ounce can. Just one 7-Up will actually put you above the recommended sugar limit imposed by the American Heart Association. But, diabetes aside, you’ll be able to bowl better.
16. “Look I’m A Mother!”
Company: Easy Spindrier
Year Released: 1940s
Well, this ad from the 1940s isn’t as bad as it could be. Though the husband is saying that he’s “a mother” because he’s doing laundry and dealing with the kids, he at least admits that his wife, “Helen,” has a harder job than he does at the office.
The Easy Spindrier promised to do a week’s wash in under an hour. One Spindrier barrel washed the load, while the other spun it dry. The Spindrier was the hot new item when it came out in the 1940s, and, to be fair, the ad was right—it did make the wash more convenient.
17. Curves?
Company: Rest Assured
Year Released: 1970s
According to Rest Assured, its “curves” were in the right places, and it had a pretty woman with a drink to prove it. Rest Assured was, apparently, a furniture store that prided itself on its carefully-designed cushions, eighteen-times-over inspection, and beech-wood frames.
You can tell from the mustard-yellow, striped couch that this ad, though there is no date on it, probably came from the 1970s. Compared to some of the other “don’t gain weight or you’ll die alone” ads we’ve seen from the ‘70s, this Rest Assured advertisement’s body commentary is tame (though still sigh-inducing).
18. Suits, Now Sold With Free Bad Advice
Company: Cricketeer
Year Released: 1970
Cricketeer was a clothing company that sold, you guessed it, polyester suits. It ran its ads in the late 1960s and early 1970s, usually in magazines like Playboy. Often, their ads tried to be funny, and people in the seventies probably did get a chuckle out of ways you could avoid marrying “The Girl.”
Some of these jokes are a little smirk-inducing, but this ad, funny or not, would definitely go over like a lead balloon these days. In addition to its ads, Cricketeer should be remembered for its strange, stretchy suits that promised to be so flexible, you could put your legs behind your head while wearing them without causing a rip.
19. The Battle of the Sexes
Company: Morris Oxford
Year Released: 1949
Morris Oxford, for those who aren’t familiar with British cars, was a series produced by the U.K.’s Morris from 1913 until 1935 and 1948 until 1971. Its models included the Farina Oxfords and Oxford, and the company was later succeeded by Morris Marina.
This post-WWII vintage ad promised that both men and women would like the Morris Oxford. Women wanted aesthetic things, according to the ad, such as “gay colors” and a “really large luggage trunk,” while men wanted a car that actually ran. Together, the ad said, men and women could team up to buy the perfect car (an Oxford).
20. The Next Best Thing to a Dishwashing Machine
Company: Lux Dish Soap
Year Released: 1950s
Lux Dish Soap was a common site during the 1950s and 1960s, and it seemed as though every kitchen had Lux’s dishwashing liquid. The brand promised that it was the “next best thing to a dishwashing machine,” promising women, specifically, that they could “get out of the kitchen” quicker if they used Lux.
Really, at the time, dishwashers hadn’t taken off as a must-have appliance, so this Lux ad made sense. It wasn’t until the ’40s that dishwashers could even dry the dishes. By the 1970s, dishwashers became a necessity, and, now, around three-quarters of U.S. households have a dishwasher.
21. Delighted More Husbands Than Any Other
Company: Budweiser
Year Released: 1956
This ad is confusing. Who is the Inner Man? What’s his relationship to the Outer Man? This Budweiser ad, which ran the slogan, “Where there’s life…There’s Bud!” talked about a bride marrying “two men” with the “Inner Man” far harder to keep content.
This ad could also double as a way to hawk a sci-fi movie about a man with another man living in his brain. Of course, Budweiser was trying to put its beer over the competition, and this tactic seems to have worked for the multinational brand. Budweiser has a brand value of $16.17 billion as of 2021.
22. Keep Me Cold and I’ll Stay Hot
Company: Mister Mustard
Year Released: 1965
The Frank Tea & Spice Co. made Mister Mustard, a brand of mustard that sold well in the 1960s. Of course, Mister Mustard geared its ads towards women, as that was who the brand assumed would be making men a sandwich. “Are you woman enough to buy a man’s mustard?” the ad asks.
Mister Mustard is still around, though the brand is now owned by Woeber’s, who has enough sense to update its ads. You can order a jar for $1.60, but be warned—Mister Mustard is much hotter than regular mustard, thanks to its selection of “secret spices.”
23. Mom, Is That You?
Company: American Airlines
Year Released: 1968
American Airlines was certainly targeting the mommy issues crowd with this ad, where it asked men to think of the flight attendant as their mother. “She only wants what’s best for you,” including a warm blanket, soft pillow, cool drink, and good dinner. American Airlines was showing off its “stewardess training,” which it said didn’t go on looks alone.
American Airlines is a bit more PC now, and it does well to this day, bringing in $17.34 billion in revenue a year. The Texas-headquartered company has $62.01 billion in total assets, but all that money can’t erase its history of cringe-worthy ads.
24. Tricky to Understand as a Woman
Company: Jell-O
Year Released: 1970s
Jell-O’s Pudding Tarts look delicious, but they’re not enough to overcome the winceworthy nature of this ad. In this advertisement, a woman is presenting her husband with Jell-O tarts after a long day at work. She’s celebrating his promotion, though she doesn’t seem to understand what an “assistant vice-president” does.
To be fair, a lot of us can’t tell you what our spouse does all day at work, but this joke falls a bit flat when you see it through 2022 eyes. A shoddy ad history is the least of this brand’s problems. At one point, Jell-O was a household staple, but, between 2009 to 2018, its sales have dropped $375 million.
25. Turns Out You Gals Are Useful After All!
Company: U.S. Army
Year Released: 1944
This ad is even more offensive when you consider all the contributions that women made during WWII. Women had always been “useful,” but the U.S. Army, who came up with this ad, finally realized that when all of the men had to go to war, leaving the women at home and the factories, stores, and places of businesses unmanned (literally).
Not only did women pick up the slack at home, working in factories and keeping the country running, but they also joined the military. Around 350,000 U.S. women joined up during WWII, working as nurses, truck drivers, airplane repairwomen, and clerical workers. Some women were even captured as P.O.W.s, just like the men.
26. He Doesn’t Kiss Me Anymore!
Company: Tangee
Year Released: 1935
This lipstick ad came from Tangee, and it implied that women were devastated when men thought they’d applied their makeup improperly. “He doesn’t kiss me anymore,” reads this ad, because this woman’s lipstick is too red and will smear. Her friend suggests Tangee, a type of lipstick that is orange in the tube but goes on clear.
It then adjusts to your lip color, turning it the perfect non-smeary shade of red. Want to try this vintage product out? You can buy it from the Vermont Country Store for $7-$15 a tube. Believe it or not, nearly a century later, Tangee is still around.
27. Arby’s Inappropriate Cheeseboobers
Company: Arby’s
Year Released: 2009
Many of the ads on this list are from the 1930s, 1940s, and 1950s, but there have been quite a few questionable advertising campaigns in recent times, too (seriously, just watch any Super Bowl). One such campaign came from Arby’s, which took the concept of boobs and turned them into cheeseburgers.
This faux-provocative ad came with the tagline, “We’re about to reveal something you’ll drool over.” Arby’s has long been known for having some wacky, borderline-inappropriate ads, and, as you can imagine, this ad didn’t go over too well among women, who complained that it was objectifying and downright strange.
28. It Will Blow Your Mind
Company: Burger King
Year Released: 2009
“Infamous Burger King Ad” read one headline, while all others read, “Model calls for BK boycott.” The model in question was the woman who appeared in this Burger King advertisement, which had a very raunchy twist. The ad came out in 2009, and it was advertising the new seven-inch Burger King sub.
It aired in Singapore, and the model who took the photo for the ad said that the chain did not obtain her permission to use her face this way. Though she called for a boycott, not a lot of people listened, though everyone was in agreement that this ad was a prime example of the phrase, “Sex sells.”
29. Sabrina Demonstrates The World’s Finest
Company: Bell & Howell
Year Released: 1939
Bell & Howell knew what they were doing when they hired this pointy-boobed model, Sabrina, to advertise the “world’s finest projection equipment” in 1939. The ad came out in June of 1939, and it showed off a color slide projector and a very busty model.
Putting women in ads like this has been going on for nearly a century (if not longer). If the ads weren’t trying to sell women something in the most offensive, patronizing way possible, they were using women to try to entice men to buy their products.
30. Every Bride’s Lovely Coming Home Gift
Company: Addisware
Year Released: 1970s
The Addis Wedding Set was a cleaning kit that Addis suggested husbands get for their wives as a wedding present. The kit consisted of everything you’d need to keep a tidy house, and you could choose from colors like “tangerine, gold, avocado, or blue,” according to the retailer.
You even got free shipping to top it off. This 1970s ad showed off a product that a passive-aggressive mother-in-law would get her daughter-in-law. This wasn’t a kit that would start a woman off as a “wife,” it was more like an indentured servant training set.
31. She’s About To Lose Her Backseat Driver
Company: Head & Shoulders
Year Released: 1970
Head & Shoulders is one of the most popular brands of shampoo out there. The brand brings in around $93 million a year in revenue, but that doesn’t make it immune to bad advertising ideas. This ad from 1970 was a wacky way to complain about someone having dandruff (a condition where skin on the scalp flakes and falls off).
“She’s about to lose her backseat driver,” the ad reads, referring to the guy sharing the super-vintage bike with his girlfriend. Let’s hope that a good BF wouldn’t dump his partner over something as minor and easy to fix as dandruff.
32. Just No, Chiquita, No.
Company: Chiquita Banana
Year Released: 1960s /1970s
Hopefully, Chiquita Banana didn’t mean to accidentally sexualize children. It’s easy to look in hindsight and wonder what the company was thinking. “It was the seventies” would probably be the defense for this creepy, off-base advertisement, featuring a young boy feeding a little girl a banana.
In the grand scheme of things, this was far from the worst thing Chiquita Banana ever did. After all, we’re talking about the same company from the lawsuit Doe vs. Chiquita Brands International. Chiquita fessed up to the U.S. Justice Department about some pretty wild antics, so a creepy ad is low on the “sins” list by comparison.
33. Oh, That’s Why.
Company: Proactiv
Year Released: 2013
This ad is problematic on so many levels. For one, acne is a common skin condition that a lot of people suffer from, and there’s no reason it would be a barrier to “having a boyfriend.” Second, having a boyfriend isn’t that important. And, finally, Proactiv isn’t exactly a product that has gotten rave reviews.
The brand spent so much time shaming young girls for their acne that they forgot to actually look at their own product. According to Health Digest, Proactiv contained some pretty harsh ingredients, with side effects including a red rash, itchiness, dryness, or peeling. Rather than come up with cruel ads, this now-“rebranded” company should have been making a product that wasn’t like putting battery acid on your skin.
34. The Dreaded “Housewife Headache”
Company: Whitehall Labs
Year Released: 1969
Boredom and emotional fatigue—the two culprits behind a “housewife headache,” according to Whitehall Labs. Whitehall blamed this “headache,” which actually sounds more like high-functioning depression, on the humdrum of being a housewife and having “boring tasks.”
This ad was hawking Anacin, which is basically Aspirin with caffeine. While the Anacin might have nixed the “housewife headache,” it probably wouldn’t have fixed the fact that, in 1969, women didn’t have federal protection from credit discrimination, meaning that banks could refuse them a credit card solely based on their gender. It wasn’t until 1974 that the Equal Credit Opportunity Act was signed into law.
35. If Men Hate The Sight of You – Read This
Company: Ironized Yeast
Year Released: 1930s
Curves have come back into fashion now after the hellish low-rider jeans and “heroin chic” era in the nineties and early 2000s. They were also in fashion in the 1930s, and it was actually considered a bad thing to be skinny (so, body shaming, this time of thin women).
This ad said that men would “hate the sight” of a “skinny dame,” so, rather than be one, the skinny dame should bulk up on ironized yeast. There is even a curvy pinup model to seal the deal. These tablets became a diet fad that promised to help women put on the pounds in just a few weeks.
36. Finish Work at the Same Time As Your Husband
Company: Gold Dust Wash
Year Released: 1893
It was the late 1800s—what else could you expect? N.K. Fairbank & Co. used some good old-fashioned “women in the kitchen” ad work to pawn their Gold Dust Powder. “Fourteen-hour wives” (apparently, wives who clean the house fourteen hours a day) would be able to finish work at the same time as their lazier, eight-hour husbands.
Sexist ads aside, N.K. Fairbank, an industrialist with hideous facial hair, was onto something with his Gold Dust Washing Powder, as it was one of North America’s most successful cleansing product lines during the twentieth century. Fairy Soap, another Fairbank creation, is still, to this day, one of Europe’s best-known household brands.
37. Shame On You Dick
Company: Dr. West’s Toothpaste
Year Released: 1948
It’s amazing the way personal hygiene ads from the 1940s and 1950s used to prey on what they perceived as women’s jealousy. It was a strange sort of manipulation in advertising—“your man will leave you if you don’t use the right toothpaste.” Out of context, that sounds insane, but it was what flew in ads decades ago.
Dr. West’s Toothpaste promised to get your boyfriend to stop looking at another girl because of the way she “smiled.” Dr. West’s was popular in the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s, as it promised to give you a pearly-white smile that your partner would never abandon.
38. This Is No Shape For A Girl.
Company: Warner’s
Year Released: 1960s
Being pear-shaped was terrible, at least according to the lingerie company Warner’s, who released this ridiculous ad in the sixties. “This is no shape for a girl,” the caption reads in front of a picture of a freckled pear. Warner’s promised to help turn you from a pear into a real human woman with its “Little Fibber” bra and “Concentrate Girdle.”
According to Warner’s, girls had been walking around with “too much bottom” and not enough “top,” and they were on a mission to fix it. Now, being pear-shaped (it’s so stupid to compare the human form to a piece of fruit) is not such a bad thing, as far as current beauty standards go.
39. She Was A Perfect Wife… Except For One Thing
Company: Lysol
Year Released: 1950s
“She was the perfect wife,” this ad reads, except for “one neglect.” Lysol was trying to hawk its products for not only cleaning the kitchen but also for cleaning your private parts. We guarantee that if you “ask your doctor about Lysol” for feminine hygiene, he or she will look at you like you’ve gone insane.
…Or was this ad what everyone thought it was? Birth control was illegal in the States until 1965 for married women. According to Smithsonian Magazine’s Andrea Tone, a historian, “feminine hygiene” was actually a euphemism. Lysol may have been, misguidedly, encouraging women to take control of their reproductive independence and use its product as a sort of spermicide. It would explain why this ad is geared toward wives rather than just women in general.
40. That’s Right Boys…
Company: Yasmin (Bayer Healthcare)
Year Released: 1970s
This ad isn’t advertising anything bad, it just makes us laugh at how blatant it is. Advertising for birth control now is a bit more subtle. It does prevent pregnancy, but birth control has health benefits too, particularly if you need help with menstrual or hormonal regulation.
Franky, this ad rocks. It’s a bit forward, yes, and the doctor at the bottom of the page is like someone out of a science fiction movie, but women are actually getting, with this ad, to show their agency. No more buttoned-up housewives from the 1950s—it was time to party and have fun, thanks to, well, birth control.
41. Husbands Admire Wives That Keep Their Stockings Perfect
Company: LUX Laundry Soap
Year Released: 1938
LUX really thought they did something with this ad, which they thought would get “S.A.” as the new buzzword for “Stocking Appeal.” LUX encouraged women not to lose their S.A. by letting their stockings run, get holes, wrinkle, or twist at the seams. Using LUX soap would save the “elasticity” and make sure your husband was still proud of you.
The year was 1938, and Hitler had just marched into Czechoslovakia after torching his way through Austria. But, men weren’t worried about their potential conscription into the world’s biggest war, says LUX. They were, instead, worried about their wife’s stockings.
42. Dummies Don’t Perspire
Company: Mum
Year Released: 1953
“Dummies don’t perspire” read this ad, featuring a man who is creepily attached to a fake woman. Mum deodorant was geared towards women, and this ad promised that its product would kill odor-causing bacteria and keep “real live girls” smelling fresh.
This creepy ad came out in 1953, and it preyed on what the company and its ad executives considered women’s insecurities. That said, this ad isn’t really sexist. It’s more just creepy. Who is that man? Who is the doll? And, most importantly, why does he look so attached to her?
43. It’s A Wifesaver!
Company: Brown
Year Released: 1973
Brown Stove Works Inc. is still around, making appliances out of its factory in Tennessee. According to the company, it is one of the United States’ “leading appliance manufacturers,” known for making a wide range of “long-lasting, reliable products.”
And a checkered ad history, too. Brown was playing to the stereotype of the times when it released this 1970s ad, which featured a “wife saver.” The “wife saver” in question was its Brown oven and range, which wouldn’t damage the “good humor of…homemakers” because they were easy to clean. The Soilfree was marketed towards “wives” because the idea of women not being housewives hadn’t really hit yet.
44. Now She Can Cook Breakfast Again
Company: Mornidine
Year Released: 1959
G.D. Searle & Company introduced this antiemetic (anti-puking) drug in 1959, and its ad campaign focused on the real priorities of pregnancy. No, not keeping the baby healthy—making sure your pregnant wife was able to make you breakfast in the morning.
It would certainly be a bad idea now to run an ad for a woman-focused product touting the benefits to men, but the late fifties didn’t have such scruples. Ten years after this ad was released, Mornidine was pulled from the market, as it was revealed, way too late, that it caused serious liver damage.
45. Feminine Hygiene Can Very Often Ruin The Happiest of Marriages
Company: Lysol
Year Released: 1950s
Lysol was at it again with this ad, as it blamed “feminine hygiene” (or lack thereof) for why a husband kept lashing out at his wife. Was this ad a secret way to get women to use Lysol as spermicide? That’s what historians believe as, at the time, birth control was illegal for married women.
What’s crazy, according to The Society Pages, is that women actually attempted to use Lysol as a feminine product. It was corrosive, and the product, when used that way, caused a lot of serious issues. While it’s fine for cleaning, that’s all it is fine for.
46. Make A Real He-Man Salad
Company: Knox Gelatine
Year Released: 1938
Eating sugar was gay, according to this ad from Knox Gelatine. In it, a man accused his wife of challenging his masculinity by feeding him a fruit salad that was “sissy sweet.” When the wife asked her friend, the friend said that the salad wasn’t “he-man” enough.
She gave her the recipe for Knox Gelatine, as that was “unsweetened” with no sugar. Real men eat fresh, tart fruit salad, not “sissy sweet” salads. This might seem ridiculous, but, to some extent, advertisers still play these weird masculinity-denying games to this day with the public.
47. Only The Best For Your Children
Company: Motorola Television
Year Released: 1950
Believe it or not, Motorola used to make TVs, and the company (now known as Motorola Solutions, and it has a $42.53 billion market cap) once made televisions. In the 1950s, Motorola even tried to convince parents that television was beneficial for kids, leading to “better behavior” and good grades.
Well, that ended up not being true, as a quick, “Is TV bad for kids?” Google search has led to disheartening results. Screen viewing, especially when kids are young, can lead to “lasting negative effects” on kids’ language development, short-term memory, and reading skills (Healthy Children). This 1950 ad has not aged well, it seems.
48. She Was Willing And Capable, But Her Gray Hair Made Her Look Old
Company: Wyeth’s Sage and Sulfur
Year Released: 1925
Gray hair ended this woman’s job prospects, thanks to ageism, but, as it turns out, Wyeth’s Sage & Sulphur had the solution. “Gray hair make[s] a person look old,” according to this 1925 ad. The advertisement doesn’t feature a man, of course, as men don’t age, they just increase in wisdom, and that’s fine.
Believe it or not, despite this offensive ad that probably makes you want to dye your hair gray out of spite, sage tea does have its benefits for hair revitalization. It can darken hair color which can, in fact, hide grays.
49. Middle-Aged Skin Strikes Again
Company: Palmolive
Year Released: 1930s
Did you know that you could have “middle-aged” skin even when you’re twenty? No, you probably knew the opposite of that, but Palmolive, in this ad, insists that you will be dumped if you have forty-year-old skin at the age of twenty. Hilariously, the young woman in this ad is talking to an elderly woman with white hair, who probably thinks she’s insufferable for complaining about looking “middle-aged.”
Palmolive Soap was made with olive oil, which would, according to some guy named Emil on this ad, make your complexion young-looking. Olive oil is an excellent moisturizer, but Palmolive could have kept the sexist ads to itself.
50. Man…That Took Muscle
Company: Brillo
Year Released: 1969
Men have muscles, and women have sponges. This ad for Brillo played on the slang of the term “Man,” advertising a Brillo sponge that had muscle, unlike women. These sponges came with metal fiber and soap, two things women also don’t have.
Actor Arnold Stang was the spokesman for this Brillo sponge, uttering the tagline, “Woman…that took Brillo!” The American comic actor was born in 1918, and he was in a ton of different commercials and ads, including, mostly famously, for Chunky Candy Bars. In those commercials, he got to utter his famous line, “Chunky, what a Chunka Chocolate!”
51. Youngest Customers in the Business
Company: 7-Up
Year Released: 1955
Nowadays, putting soda in your baby’s bottle gets you glared at in the supermarket. But, in the fifties, people were just living life. World War II was over, and it was time to party. Even eleven-month-olds got in on the fun, as they got to drink 7-Up.
“Nothing does it like Seven-Up” was the tagline for this 1955 ad, which we’re sure 7-Up wants to forget didn’t happen. It boasted that the soda company has the “youngest customers in the business,” which, we assume, refers to the business of drinking straight-up carbonated sugar. 7-Up is still around, and it has a brand value of $1.7 billion, so people have forgiven this faux pas, it seems.
52. Butter is Slippery
Company: Unknown
Year Released: 1950s
This hilarious ad is from the 1950s (we estimate), and the nutrition advice is so wrong, it’s funny. The image shows a young boy eating an entire stick of “slippery butter,” which will “lubricate” his arteries and veins, as long as he chows down on as “much as possible.”
While some still believe that butter is a big diet no-no, it’s perfectly fine when consumed as part of a balanced diet. However, according to Healthline, you should only eat one or two tablespoons a day, maximum, not multiple sticks like this kid.
53. Gee! I Wish I Were a Man
Company: U.S. Navy
Year Released: 1917
This ad takes Shania Twain’s “Man, I Feel Like A Woman!” and turns it on its head (in a bad way). Decades ago, the U.S. Navy was making fun of men in an attempt to get them to sign up. This ad came out in the early 1900s, and it features a woman wishing she were a man so that she could join the U.S. Navy.
Thirty years later, this woman would have gotten her wish, as the Women’s Armed Services Integration Act was enacted in 1948. This law allowed women to become regular, permanent members of the U.S. Armed Forces.
54. Show Her It’s a Man’s World
Company: Van Heusen
Year Released: 1951
We dug up an ad that Van Heusen probably wants to pretend doesn’t exist. PVH Corp. currently owns huge brands like Tommy Hilfiger, Olga, Warner’s, Calvin Klein, and more, and it was founded in 1881. Van Heusen came out with this ad in 1951.
Read it and weep, because, in the fifties, it was a man’s world and ties would show women that it was definitely a World For Men. With this $2.98 tie, you didn’t have to do the talking—your woman would see it and bring you a tray with food on it. These ties are hideous, and they’d be hideous even if this ad weren’t wildly inoffensive.
55. Cry a Little. Not a Lot.
Company: Dormeyer
Year Released: 1900s
Dormeyer was founded in the early 1900s in Chicago, and now its blenders, mixers, and other appliances resell for $20-$100 on eBay for people who like to collect old kitchen appliances (there’s a market for everything). Dormeyer, a Kitchenaid competitor, was far from the only company to get in on the “women in kitchen” trend.
This ad shows off some of Dormeyer’s best products, including a toaster, mixer, coffeemaker, and more. Ask your husband, the ad says, and cry when he says he’s not going to buy you a new can opener. Husbands, buy the can opener for your wives or they will cry a moderate amount.
56. Women Don’t Leave the Kitchen
Company: Hardee’s
Year Released: 1940s
Hardee’s, a fast food chain, put out this ad in the 1940s that stated, “Women belong in the kitchen…cooking a man a delicious meal.” But, said Hardee’s, if you wanted to live the bachelor’s life and not have your wife cook for you, you could come on down to the fast food chain for something “hastily prepared” and “sloppy.”
Hardee’s is still getting a side-eye from feminists, as it just ran into controversy a few years ago over “sexist advertising” in its “French Me Femme” ad. The company’s not as blatant as it once was, but some could argue it hasn’t totally learned its lesson about dumb ads.
57. Spread Your Legs
Company: Pontiac
Year Released: 1957
There has been debate over whether this vintage ad is real or a spoof, so we’ll let you be the judge. Considering how wacky some of the 1950s ads were, an ad with this level of innuendo wouldn’t exactly be shocking.
“Spread Your Legs!” said Pontiac, advertising its new Star Chief, which boasted, apparently, a lot of legroom. The Star Chief had a pretty good run for Pontiac, and it was produced for twelve years, from 1954 until 1966. This ad came at the end of the second generation, and the Star Chief even had a Hollywood moment when it was in episodes of I Love Lucy in the mid-fifties.
58. Don’t Get “Middle Age” Skin
Company: Palmolive
Year Released: 1970
Palmolive is a dish soap brand that you probably forgot about until just now. The brand is famous for using oils to help keep their product from irritating skin (although a class action lawsuit a few years ago claimed differently).
In 1970, Palmolive wasn’t just hawking dish soap—it was hawking regular bar soap for skin. Put it on your face, this ad says, and you won’t have “middle age” skin, so your husband (who probably has middle-aged skin that no one talks about) will allow you to leave your house. This ad encouraged ladies to run from “dry, lifeless,” corpse-like skin and develop oiled-up, shiny, eel-like skin.
59. Successful Marriages Start in the Kitchen
Company: Crown Crystal Glass, Pyrex
Year Released: 1947
Crown Crystal Glass came up with this ad for Pyrex, which is, admittedly, a line of high-end cookware. The “new mistress of the house” is the person to whom the ad is targeted, though it is the husband’s wallet, no doubt, that Crown Crystal Glass is aiming for.
A good marriage is all about “failure-free cooking,” says Crown Crystal Glass, and, with Pyrex, you can achieve all your “girlhood dreams.” Really, everyone knows that a successful marriage doesn’t start in the kitchen. It starts when you tell your mother-in-law that you’re “not legally allowed” to make a copy of your house key, so she can’t have one.
60. Do Not Use the Wrong Deodorant
Company: Unknown
Year Released: Unknown
WRONG DEODORANT? Not a chance. You can have hair, eyes, and teeth, and all of those can be NICE, but if you use the wrong deodorant you’re done. These “charms” will be canceled out immediately. To be fair, no one wants to use the wrong deodorant—it’s the approach of this ad that makes it funny.
Interestingly, the first deodorant didn’t come out until the 1930s, when a deodorant for men was put into a bottle and labeled “Top-Flite.” After that bottle’s success, advertisers went on a mission to convince Americans that they’d smell terrible without their product (and their product alone). Today, the deodorant industry is valued at around $5.7 billion, and the Secret brand alone is worth millions.
61. Kellogg’s Vitamins for Pep
Company: Kellogg’s
Year Released: 1939
Kellogg’s has been around for decades, so you can assume that, if you go back in the company’s ad archives, things haven’t always been so socially-appropriate. Kellogg’s wouldn’t be caught dead making an insensitive ad, lest they face Twitter’s fury.
That said, things were different in the late 1930s, when Kellogg’s advertised its Vitamins for PEP! The harder your wife works, the cuter she looks, and she can only work hard and look cute if she’s taken her vitamins. This ’39 ad, completed in a familiar comic book style, would never leave the room in today’s world, and it’s easy to see why.
62. If Your Husband Ever Finds Out
Company: Chase & Sanborn Coffee
Year Released: 1952
Advertising has come a long way, baby, and we are happy to report that you can no longer advocate for domestic violence in your ads. This Chase & Sanborn Coffee ad is wildly offensive, as it promises that “woe will be onto you” in the form of your husband spanking you if you buy the wrong type of coffee.
This coffee brand has survived its horrendous ad track record, much like many of the other companies on this list. That said, when you google “Chase & Sanborn,” some of the top results in Google Images are this ad, so the brand hasn’t completely shaken it. To quote Superbad, “People don’t forget.”
63. A Girl Sized Pen
Company: Parker
Year Released: 1965
Women have baby-sized hands, and, according to Parker, they need tiny pens as a result. Girl-sized pens wrote just as well as the “man-size” Jotter (note the difference in verbiage). The Compact Jotter could let you write up to 80,000 words, but that was never tested, as Parker didn’t think that women knew 80,000 words.
You could find these pens at your local Parker dealer for $1.98, which was “little enough” for a tiny “ladylike” pen. Decades later, Bic would step into this “girl pen” landmine when it came out with Lady Bic pens, which were “made for women.”
64. Presenting the Losers
Company: Eastern
Year Released: 1967
In 1967, Eastern Airlines gathered a bunch of job applicant rejects in a room and made them take a sad photo together because they didn’t get the stewardess job for which they applied. These women, according to the ad, didn’t have the “weight,” “maturity,” “speech,” “intelligence,” and “enthusiasm” to work for the airline.
This ad was, supposedly, a way to show passengers that Eastern was serious about who it picked for its airline. If you didn’t make the cut, you were a “loser.” Anyway, Eastern Airlines went defunct in 1991 because it couldn’t manage its labor disputes or $2.5 billion debt load.
65. Life With Father Is Lots More Fun Since We Found Spam
Company: Hormel Good Foods (Spam)
Year Released: 1941
Mrs. Keith Holton, a woman with no first name from Illinois, said that her husband was “grumpy” in the morning until she started to feed him Spam and eggs. Only this processed, salty meat stands between this 1940s husband and having a total mental breakdown.
Spam is still around, and this cooked pork, despite nutritionists complaining about it for decades, has been going strong since the late 1930s. It is trademarked in over 100 countries. Though Mrs. Holton’s husband might be nicer since he had the privilege of eating Spam, a known delicacy on par with caviar, for breakfast, his arteries probably didn’t thank him for it.
66. We Wrapped These Twins in Cellophane
Company: Du Pont
Year Released: 1953
The 1950s is a gold mine for shocking ads, but this one stands out. Normally, if you see a kid wrapping themselves in plastic, you’d tell them to stop, but Du Pont had the opposite approach. The company wrapped twins in cellophane to prove, for whatever reason, that their wrap would keep things “fresh.”
In addition to that horror movie statement, Du Pont added that, if the twins “could talk,” they’d tell you that they were being kept fresh. This vintage ad is a perfect example of how child safety laws have come a long way in the past seventy years.
67. Woman Are Soft and Gentle, But They Hit Things
Company: Volkswagen
Year Released: 1960s
Women are soft and gentle, until you put them in the car. When they drive, they hit things, and they might even hit you, if you keep showing them ads that tell them how bad they are at driving. This Volkswagen ad labeled the good old female incompetence as the number-one reason to own a VW car.
Your woman could graze the door, hit the bumper, or just run over multiple pedestrians, and VW would be able to fix it easily. Back then, replacing a fender cost just $25 plus labor. Now, that part could run anywhere from $600 to $2,000, labor included.
68. She’ll Be Happier With A Hoover
Company: The Hoover Company
Year Released: 1950s
Unless your wife or girlfriend specifically asks for a vacuum cleaner for Christmas (or she’s been complaining about hers and it’s clear she needs a new one), this domestic house gift isn’t one to put on the holiday shopping list. It just has bad vibes.
Hoover vacuums are great, but the Hoover Company’s historical ad campaigns? Not so much. This 1950s (of course) ad says that, “She’ll be happier with a Hoover,” meaning that ‘50s men should always give their wives vacuums for the holidays. To be fair, this ad isn’t as bad as some of the others on this list, but it still is a bit cringey.
69. For Simple Driving
Company: BMW
Year Released: 1979
What do you think? Is this sexist or not? Considering that every other ad campaign up until this 1979 BMW ad used the old “Women can’t drive” trope a time or two, chances are, this ad might have a tinge of sexism to it.
Or perhaps it’s just coincidence that BMW is using a cross-eyed female model to show off its Mini Automatic, which it billed as great for “Simple Driving.” To be fair, an automatic is way easier to drive than a manual transmission. Just don’t forget to put on your dozens of costume rings before you get in the car–can’t forget those.
70. All of These Men Have It
Company: Unknown
Year Released: Late 1930s/Early 1940s
This WWII era poster cautioned women against going to dance halls, as every single soldier there had syphilis. Not one was syphilis free, and, as everyone knows, you can get an STD just through dancing modestly.
Actually, there is some historical basis to this exaggerated ad. During WWII, venereal diseases were a huge issue for the U.S. Navy and Army. Gonorrhea and syphilis were two of the worst ones, and, in some WWII hospitals, one in every eight men had an STD. This put a huge dent in the military’s fighting population, as STDs like syphilis can have some nasty, flu-like effects.
71. Nothing Scares Off A Man More Than Morning Mouth
Company: Chlorodent
Year Released: 1954
Only women have bad breath—men are immune. At least, that was Chlorodent’s line of thinking when it put out this 1950s ad saying that “No Halloween mask scares off a man” quite the way “morning mouth” (an awkward way to say “morning breath”) does. In the ad, a woman is wearing a pumpkin on her head, a la Dwight Schrute in The Office.
Hold onto your hats—you can still get this defunct, chlorophyll-laden toothpaste on eBay for $150 for a 12-pack. Chlorophyll was used in toothpaste because it was mineral-rich, and it was thought to fight off tooth decay and, of course, bad breath.
72. Is It Always Illegal?
Company: Pitney-Bowes
Year Released: 1947
We read this so you don’t have to. A salesman for the company Pitney-Bowes was trying to convince a woman, Mrs. Morissey, “a redhead” (important detail that won’t come up at all in the plotline), to buy a postage meter. She says no because she doesn’t like machines. The salesman feels like committing homicide. The story ends.
That’s it—peak 1940s advertising. This Pitney-Bowes ad came out in 1947 and, even then, we have a feeling it ruffled some feathers. Asking if it was “always illegal” to kill a woman had to have gone against some manly man’s chivalrous nature—right?
73. Have Some Fun.
Company: BPA Fun Center
Year Released: 1960s
This ad would never fly today—no, it’s not advocating for domestic violence, but it is certainly making a joke about it. The BPA Fun Center said, “Have fun. Beat your wife tonight.” The ad was in reference to “beating” her in bowling, not in reality.
Is it as bad as some of the other ads on this list? Not really. But, it’s definitely in poor taste. As time has gone on, people have become more and more sensitive to jokes, even well-meaning, about serious subjects. Domestic violence, obviously, is one such serious subject that companies want to stay away from when creating ads.
74. Wanted. Husbands.
Company: Lux
Year Released: 1950
If you listen to these 1950s ads, you’ll realize that the most important factor to a successful marriage isn’t honesty or communication or any of that. It’s soap. These girls are SWEATY, says this Lux ad, and they don’t even care. That’s why they can’t find a husband.
Women are not supposed to perspire. It’s just not done. And, if they do, they have to keep it a secret—something Lux can help with, as its detergent is great for “underthings after each wearing.” Dorothy, Beth, and Hildegarde will no longer be spinsters, as long as they use Lux soap. What about male sweat, you ask? It’s fine, don’t worry about it.
75. Ladies, You’d Better Watch Out
Company: Chlorodent
Year Released: 1950s
Chlorodent, toothpaste with chlorophyll in it, wanted women to know that the way to keep your man was to brush your teeth. While oral hygiene is important for all of us, morning breath happens, but it was considered the ultimate shame in the ‘50s. At least, according to ad campaigns, it was.
“Another woman is waiting,” reads this ad, and this woman, apparently, doesn’t have bad breath. Once again, there is absolutely no mention of whether or not men should brush their teeth. The number-one theme from these ads is that women have to try, 100% of the time, to impress their man or he will be out the door, heading down the street to the neighboring housewife’s home.
76. Does He Look Younger?
Company: Dorothy Gray Salon
Year Released: 1930s/1940s
Before she opened her first salon in 1916, Dorothy Gray worked for makeup tycoon Elizabeth Arden as a treatment girl. During the thirties, Gray helped build up her salon even further with the help of the ad company Lehn & Fink. By the 1940s, Dorothy Gray owned one of the most successful salon-based cosmetic brands in America.
It’s hard to “Yass Queen” her when you see this ad, but it might have been Lehn & Fink’s idea. The ad plays on women’s fears of looking older than their husbands and being left by them, offering Dorothy Gray’s products to keep them looking youthful.
77. That’s What Wives Are For
Company: Kenwood
Year Released: 1961
The Kenwood Chef was a mixer with a ton of different attachments and a questionable marketing scheme. “Women in the workplace” was still considered a jaw-dropping feat in the early 1960s, so a lot of domestic-related ads were targeted towards women, as they were the ones at home cooking and cleaning.
This gigantic mixer used the tagline, “That’s what wives are for,” to refer to cooking, yet it called the husband the chef, which makes no sense. Fake chefs aside, both the people in this Kenwood advertisement are smiling like they’re in a Disney movie, rather than a mixer ad.
78. The Only Brand That Keeps Manicures Safe
Company: Underwood
Year Released: 1950s
A woman working as a secretary in the 1950s was a career woman, as that was the position to which many women were relegated. So, when companies like Underwood and other typewriter manufacturers would advertise, they directed their ads to women.
In the most stereotypical way possible, of course. “Secretaries, look!” reads this ad’s caption, as Underwood is promoting its newly-designed typewriter, which promises to keep manicures safe. Underwood typewriters had half-moon keys, which prevented women’s fingernails from touching them, keeping their manicures nice and Revlon-red. The cherry on top of this ad is the description, which calls the keys “kitten-soft.”
79. It’s Nice to Have a Girl Around the House
Company: Mr. Leggs
Year Released: 1970s
Social media would not take kindly to this. There would be a lot of angry tweets should some company’s marketing department ever decide to show off an ad even remotely close to this level of madness. “It’s nice to have a girl around the house” is the headline, which is already creepy.
The creep-meter only increases when you see the woman turned into a tiger-skin rug, with just her head peeking out. This whole ad campaign is like something out of a Netflix horror movie. To add insult to injury, a man standing on this rug-woman wearing dacron pants by Mr. Leggs. Now, this bonkers 1970s ad is the only thing people remember about Mr. Leggs.
80. Dress Her in Chubbettes and See Her Blossom
Company: Chubbettes
Year Released: 1957
This was what was considered “chubby” back in 1957, as this illustration depicted a girl who, contrary to beauty recommendations, didn’t live off of 350 calories a day. Chubbettes was a dress company that specialized in making “your chubby lass” the “belle of her class.”
Chubbettes made dresses, slacks, skirts, suits, and blouses for women and kids. If you made a purchase, you even got a free copy of Pounds and Personality, a book that was a how-to guide for parents of a “chubby girl.” As you can imagine, Chubbettes wouldn’t exactly be a hot-seller on the rack at Kohls these days.
81. Begin Early
Company: WM. R. Burkhard Co., Gillette
Year Released: 1950s/1960s
“Begin Early. Shave Yourself.” This ominous set of commands came courtesy of this WM. R. Burkhard Co. ad showing off Gillette Safety Razors—so safe, a baby could use them. This ad was released in the 1950s or 1960s, and no one batted an eye back then, as child safety laws were a bit more like suggestive guidelines.
Ad researchers pointed out, however, that, even then, this Gillette ad was too extreme to be taken seriously. It seems as though this was this Minneapolis, Minnesota’s sporting goods store’s version of shock advertising. It must not have worked, a WM. R. Burkhard Co. is no longer around.
82. So Simple, Even a Husband Can Do It
Company: Bisquick
Year Released: 1944
All sides took shots from this ad, which Bisquick put out in 1944. “So simple, even a husband could do it,” the ad reads, and the “it” refers to making biscuits. Normally, cooking was a woman’s job, but Bisquick was taking the world by storm by showing that even a man could wear an apron and put something into an oven.
Ads like these ran rampant for decades. Only around 34% of women worked in 1945, so they were often relegated to domestic duties like cooking, cleaning, and raising kids. Bisquick, owned by General Mills, a billion-dollar company, probably wants to forget this ad ever existed.
83. Be the You He Likes
Company: Midol
Year Released: 1970
If you didn’t read the caption of this ad, only the header, you might be nodding your head in agreement. After all, “your guy” can be your “no. 1 reason” to have to take PMS medication, especially if he’s really annoying.
But, then, when you read Midol’s caption, you realize that this antispasmodic medication is actually trying to help you “be the you he likes.” Don’t be you with cramps, a headache, a backache, and irritability, be someone who “feel[s] good” and is “good to be around.” As you can imagine, this “Why won’t anybody think of the men?” advertising tactic wouldn’t fly now. Bayer would surely get a lot of angry comments on their Facebook if they tried to make a Midol ad about men.
84. You Mean a Woman Can Open It?
Company: Alcoa Aluminum
Year Released: 1950s
Can a woman open a bottle? Yes, she can. That revelation shocked Americans when Alcoa Aluminum first announced it in the 1950s. A woman, for the first time ever, was able to open a ketchup bottle without using a knife, smashing it into pieces, or asking a man to help. No more bottle openers—women could no longer rely on that societal crutch, thanks to Alcoa.
This aluminum bottle, which Alcoa called the HyTop, was made in a way that even a “dainty grasp” could manage. Alcoa worked with brands like Del Monte to package its products, which is why this absurd ad is often attributed to Del Monte, not Alcoa.
85. Start Cola Earlier
Company: Soda Pop Board of America
Year Released: 1970
This ad came straight from the Soda Pop Board of America, so you know it’s legit. Cola would give your baby a “better start in life,” preventing them from being ostracized by their fellow toddlers for not drinking soda. As everyone knows, toddlers are notoriously picky about what they put in their mouths and who they hang out with.
Colas like Coca Cola and Pepsi would “promote [an] active lifestyle,” boost “personality,” and give your body the “essential sugars” it needs. The Soda Pop Board recommended starting your child on a “strict regimen” of “sugary carbonated beverages” immediately. Now, this ad would give nutritionists a heart attack.
86. No One Cares If She’s Clever
Company: Palmolive
Year Released: 1924
Palmolive is a gold mine for vintage ads that Twitter would hate now. According to this ad, it was more important to be pretty, as that is what men asked about, as opposed to women being clever. Though this seems like it would be a dig against men, don’t worry, it wasn’t.
This ten-cent bar of Palmolive soap would turn you into a goddess among mere unoiled mortals. With it, you could have enticing skin that even Buffalo Bill himself couldn’t turn down. Do you want to sit in front of a mirror wearing a gold dress? Or do you want to age? That was the choice Palmolive offered—no elaboration necessary.
87. A Prodigal Pig
Company: Prodigal Pig
Year Released: 1919
Compared to what we’ve seen so far, this ad isn’t as bad as it could be—it’s a pig cutting itself in half for human consumption. This 1919 postcard ad is selling “Good Sausages from the PRODIGAL PIG,” a brand selling pig meat from Auvergne.
The ad, in addition to being shockingly macabre, is claiming that it is “pure” because, at the time, there was a fear of industrial meat production and processed meat. Now, this advertisement would have everyone in an uproar, from the anti-processed-meat-crew to PETA. In 1919, there was no one to tweet outrage at, so Prodigal Pig got away with it.
88. Men Are Better Than Women
Company: Drummond Sweaters
Year Released: 1959
This ad isn’t saying anything we haven’t heard from dorks on 4Chan before. According to Drummond Sweaters, men are better than women because women aren’t useful on a mountain. They are only useful indoors, much like a Keurig coffeemaker.
You can tell that women are bad at climbing because the woman is hanging off a rope while the men—who are wearing sweaters and shorts—are standing having a conversation. You don’t have to haul women up the mountain if you’re wearing your handy climbing sweater with a faux belt cinched at the waistline. Now, Drummond Sweaters are nowhere to be found—perhaps the company had a climbing accident.
89. Makes Children and Adults Fat as Pigs
Company: Grove’s Tasteless Chill Tonic
Year Released: 1890
Grove’s Tasteless Chill Tonic was a fever and malaria remedy that was made from quinine in flavored syrup. Gone was the bitter taste of regular medicine, and you just drank clear, thick liquid instead, which somehow seems worse.
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