HOME MADE BEER

 

First off i hate beer .....all things beer,,,,,, and beer  related shit  ...wh y......first of......... i hate the smell of  stale beer ....it's reminiscent of old glasgow pubs.... mixed with old codgers .......and piss....that........ and growing up as a kid....... at football matches...... and the stadium smelled of piss and  beer ...and beer to me is disgusting ......it tastes like piss........ looks like piss... and froths like piss ......some people love it ........i have  a hatred for it  ...i cannot  explain .....like some people  hate that relative ........ who they cannot  get rid of .....like that ........only worse ....or that annoying friend they invite to dinner  ....you hate that knows  everything ....or the wine afficianando.......  who thinks wine  can be determined  by its oakiness ...... the sunset...... and  vinyard .......and rain .....bollocks ....wine is a  leg opener.......  to get drunk........ to get a chick drunk and laid ..........

however......... beer a fucking really annoying alchohol........ its classless ......... it spans from  beer gardens .......oktober fest ......to 40 ozers in the ghetto./hood/slum/projects.....to old  pubs .....to beer gardens....... and the most annoying of  all ........ micro boutique  breweries......where you get these guys who say they are brew masters form bavaria...... or some nazi fucking place ....in bavaria or  whatever .......who cares....... it america .....they will drink piss through a sock....... to get drunk in america..........  they don't  care a fuck .......drink is drink ........if it was  served in a poly bag ...... americans would still drink it to get drunk ..........that.s a fact 

boutique breweries ....or gastro pubs....... another  fucking bullshit term ....made up .......to charge your dumb ass more .......are annoying to me  ...... why because visually.......... you go in there......  and they try and pair it with  food ........ ....piss heads/drunks/yobs.......don;t care about  fucking pairing food with beer......... as long as it washes down and they get drunk ........

Listen up ...... there is only 2% of the planet ....... that is gourmet......... the rest is gourmand ....they would not . know  pie for paella.....or  spam from ham ........ts a  true fucking fact ........ most  people  bullshit they know  food  ....the  majority of  food is  coated in salt and butter.....salt and butter invoke flavour on your tasted buds   dumbasses .....if you think i am insulting you....and you are angry  .........then i am doing  my job ......unpaid of course it's  fun ..........

and all these brewhouses...... the guys all look the same  ...they look like gay steam punks railroad engine drivers......... crossed with psuedo lumberjacks....you know that wyatt erp  ....broke back look .....you know ....... you are thinking this ......... but afraid to say right .....becasue the wife  will kick you in the nuts ......right !!!!!...well i am saying it  because i do not  fucking care  or  give  a shit .........if a brewmaster was clean shaven and looking  like taht fucking duffus bastard mark zucherburg ........you would not relate.......  but they have that .....wyatt erp look it's what  so called  beer drinkers  associate with  ....... and now they have pubs with axe throwing mixed with beer  ...that's all we need  ....fucking drunk louts getting hammered on piss ...... thinkning they are vikings ....fuck me  what.s next chainsaw throwing .......beer houses will do anything to make money .....next they will have log sawing in pubs ......,,you know all these macho fuckers  wanna think they are bad ass vikings or  fruity as lumberjacks .........


Oh!!!!!! by the way .........did i mention i hate beer .....however........ home made beer .......i got off topic with all the bullshit beer .....well home made beer is for the redneck guys ........who wanna be bad asses ....... but their wife will not  let them leave their  man cave /garage /basement.....because they are not  allowed to go to pubs....... and have fun .......they are only allowed the wives friends husbands ........ in the garage /basement....... to drink home made piss .....and talk about manly  subjects like chainsaws/mowers/HEMIs/work/house/bikes/home depot/lowes /........and their jobs .......the wife knows  when he is  drunk......... he will fall asleep and  she does not need  to put up with his shite........ and  he cannot  get done for drunk driving  ....while she can sit in the kitchen talking about wine  ...Adderall....... and fucking the  fitness guy........ while he is  at work .......paying bills .....seen it with my own eyes  .....why else would you make home made beer ....oh that and save cash  ....but it''s like dunkin donuts coffee  ....its  just  not the same as  getting it at dunkins........




Yes Beer, You Can Brew at Home

 | Mila Serfontein
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