Listen !!!!!...maybe i lack moral fibre .....i was traumatized by my older sister.....annoying the fuck out of my parents.......which she did on a constant daily fucking basis ....with her bastard children wrecking my parents house ..... with her psychotic mentally imbalanced bullshit ........however i grew up not wanting family orientated bollocks and beliefs ....and ended up with a bad taste in my mouth towards family .....kids ....life in general .....marriage and all that entails a family unit .....i eventually left .....because i could not stand the shite every day ......arguments etc....etc....etc..........
However fast forward..... many....... many ........many years........ until now and the whole thing about family death and funerals ....are all a pile of shite to me ......most of all the way human beings piles of flowers on flowers ....which wilt and die .....pretty fucking symbolic huh ......fucking teddy bears ....i do not get the correlation ....between dying .......death ......and teddy bears .........balloons there is a chance ....you know they go up ....representing angels maybe!!!!!!! ....or heavenly somewhat !!!!!,........but i hate balloons ....they remind me of used car dealerships........ and old cars........ and greasy second hand car sales man........ who smells of old spice!!!! ......or clowns! ....whom i despise .....i think they are borderline alcoholics...... or druggies ......who prey on kids .......and use clownery to peddle ...their sinister life ......but hey !!!..........that's just me ....after seeing my mother and father tortured for years .....everything else is a carnival .......don't get me wrong family life was great with my mum and dad .....until kids came along .......grandkids are a fucking night mare ....that's all i took away from it ....spoiled a gig .......my sister used them to bribe and black mail my parents..........
however i am straying of the whole cards...teddies....balloons....etc etc .....why don't people use the money they spend on child hunger .....rather than pile up all that souvenir garbage outside the gates .........cut flowers are a complete waste of money ......florists will say no!!!!!but they make a bundle from them .......obviously .......well the jelly cannot enjoy them ....jelly bean ....queen ........she is gone ....who are they for........ i always wonder ........it's a mystery all that money wasted .....io know the intentions are good ...but so is feeding hungry kids .......you know put a donation in your name and the .......persons .........seems better used ......
Butn death to me.....nothing makes sense ....we cry over dead bodies .....instead of hugging live ones ......we place them in overpriced empty boxes .......pay a fortune .....to have them made up to look as good as they were alive .....then tell people they look great .....when in fact........ dead people do not look great ......then they have eulogies of lies ...not a bad word is said to a dead person .... but when alive ....usually contempt ......and arguing .....funny though huh !!!!!!we all know one is perfect and we all have our skeletons(excuse the pun)..... ....been there....... done that....... seen that ...........then we burn them ..........or put them in a hole in the ground......to rot !!!!!!!go figure i cannot never have ....never will .......so after the queen is put in the vault .....all her cards and teddies and balloons ....will probably go in a storage unit or something .....i am sure .......
i will just never understand the cultural brainwashing of worshipping the dead ......not the living ..........people never come to see you ever ....until you are lying there stiff as a board .......
I just recently lost my friend of 30 years we lived close ...but we kept in contact every day ......but ......but just like that......... he croaked .....in the blink of an eye .........our friendship of 35 years was over .....nothing can be done .....and to see him lying there lifeless.......and all that was left was a box of ashes .......
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