well here we are at the beginning of a new decade ..or the end of an old one ..depending on which you prefer me i do not care ...well as always here we go with the disclaimer bollocks ....as i rant and rave ..about all things good and bad and disturbing...if you like it stay if you do not well there are plenty other things you can do to entertain yourself blah blah ...so on and so forth well new year i did not go bannnas as i am up in the cold ..waiting to depart to the sunny flo but as always things happen that stops me from leaving ..i will not go into the details ..as i am sure you have better things to do than listen to my details ...so anyways thats all i can say about that ..its cold here and there is nothing good about cold in anyways shape or form .....cold is for cold blooded animals which human are not ...yes yes i know we are mammals ... but the cold is no bloody good ..you cannot enjoy it anyways shape or form it kills bacteria ...... and polar bears like it and penguins and so on but shit its no dam good sunshine all round i say ...with that though i will be parting form here i will try my best to put pics in here but like the last blogs i never got around to it excuses excuses ....well i will be taking random pics of things and will do my best ..not that anyone gives a rat ass but hey i will do it ..... well i needed to put a pic or two in here so i thought as i do not do much i the way of photography i had a picture of an egg that i fried when i was in the hotel in yarrow valley scotland so here it is ........the dog i the picture gallery is yoshi he is the mental case that belongs to my accountant and he is a certifiable chick magnet.....
february
well here it is the shortest monthof the year and well these bastards at hallmark take advantage of this month......now valentines day ....you kow where people buy all these nasty one day items that are produced in a sweat shop in a foreign country ..by kids who never sleep and are fed once a day .....and kids in this country bitch huh !!!!!!!! ...by the way i hate those bastards at hall mark they will make a card for just about any occasiona long as you are willing to pay 4 bucks for a piece of paper ....why would you pay four bucks for some soppy dumbass writing that some aawad has wriiten for them can you not create you own shit ...technology has come a long way.......and then you get charged a kings ransom for roses on this day ..people are nuts.................of course we have the super bowl and tats the most important thng ....righty then at leat you get great entertainment or used to still it brings people together .....thats the main thing.........well i will be trying to get more pics in here random ones obviously ....and i will try to get in here more often ....well i am still up north soaking up the cold weather nothing is more traumatising than cold weather unless you are snowboarding that the only time snow has any use that i suppose when you have kids and they want to build a snowman i would rather buy an inflatable one after xmas at one third of the price and then just blow the son of a bitch up when it snows and then people will think i care .....which i do not at all well sunday is valentines day and well i will be doing what i do best loungiung around because sunday is a day of rest and its the only time i get biblical that and when a isee ahot chick that looks like she might be biblical ........anyways they say that on the seventh day man shalll rest .........holy shit that all i need to take away from religion the rest ......could give a monkies ......................
well february is the short month its okay for me becaue it means its less time to get to summer which i love spring and autumn and winter really does not interest me that much as i like constant state sunshine ....some people tell me they like spring so they can see the lambs being born....but hey they only end up on the plate as veal in some shitty italian restaraunt feeding someones face so what the hell does it do to see the poor little bugger being born only to be slammed in a month or two and we knbow that most animals are treated like shit bt farmers anyways they only see animals as a source of income .......only a handful of farmers really care about their stock and as i do not consume carcass its of no importance to me whether spring come along or not in fact i would rather have summer all year long ....this is why i like florida.....so with that in mind say au revoir to february soon.....
March
I hate to bitch and complain but it seems i do it more and more these days.....and even tis website runs like ass and rarely do i manage to get a headline for the month but i have problems with it.....today it does not want to give me a headline ...i mean what the fuck they are sending astronauts into fricking space and you cannot even get a fucking headline on a website ...who the hell is in charge ....its administative innefficiencies and dumbasses going to crack college and getting degrees in asswiping for a pile of money .....because we all know college and its cohorts really care about your future we all know that money is not the driver for the engine right ..........bollocks i say !!!! so i am locked into this website and sometimes it seems to take ages for me to get anything done and loading i mean who are the bosses dicking to make things run efficient .....if top men in business would stop shoving bolivian marching dust up their fucking nasal cavity and stop selling their asses for a paycheck things may get done better ....after all that i am now vented and over the fact that if you need something done .....your screwed unless you can afford to do it yourself ....and with that hey !!!!!!! its march winter is over i think unless you area poor bastard and live in siberia ...which incidently must be about as invigorating as as being raped on a regular basis by a cell mate who is 400lb and he is called thelma .....well the name thelma is the only one i could think of because of the movie thelma and louise i did not watch the movie as i thought it was about as entertaining as broke back mountain which i did not watch because i think that might be as entertaining as steel magnolias ..which i heard was a chick flick of the worst order and only if i was mainlining heroin intravenously into my jugular vein i might have watched it ...but as that is not my gig ...then none of any of these films or any films that closely resemble any of the aformentioned movies was ever watched ...but as i was saying siberia must suck really bad ....................so spring is upon and it will not be missed as i seriously look forward to summer and heat and all the things that come with it like tornadoes and hurricanes ........ they are an inconvenience but so is cold when your genitals say good bye and dissapeared up behind your kidneys and send you a postcard and see you soon....i will have those bad things as long as its hot and well you need to have excitement and moentarily crap yourself to feel you are alive or what the hell is the point of living if you do not use the adrenalin in your body is that not what its for .......thats my theory otherwise why do we have it .....its god way of waking our asses up now and again .............
are those goodyears!
room with a view
this is a big graqsshopper
april
sunny florida
welll finally i am back in the armpit of humanity ....yes sunny south florida you can say a lot of things about it but sunny it is the weather is beating down hard as usual .......i am back from north and ......looking forward to to the constant sunshine .....i do not and never have liked winter anywhere except florida with all its rudenees and crassness and veneer lifestyle but i have realised that there are places like it only worse because these people are not blatant about who they are only the pretend the difference is florida its in your face and i guess i am used to it .....still shorts and sandals it all i like apart from going out where you have to dress a little of course casual in florida i mean why dress up to sit down after all thats what you do when you go out to eat right or opera .....dress up to sit down unless you like standing posing in a bar or a club its preference thats all .....after all style is how you wear it fashion is off the rack .............well i am here for the duration and looking forward to april march was boring and there for i did not go in here too much but its time to enjoy the fruits of florida .......and this indeed is a lavish place .......................
driving
there is noting i like more than some dildo driving up my ass while i am i traffic people should lose their licence for driving like pricks ......then revenues would be healthy because floridas drivers really blow ....and i am sure the police would be making vast amounts of cash from dumbasses but only until face is beaten i do they realise how much of a stupid ass they really have been ........... maybe its better for someone to have several hundred stitches on the face like a 70's leather patch cushion b4 they get the message of what being a fucking dunbass is........still its south floirda and we know surely ......that florida is not the jewel in americas crown ...much like the kennedies being anmericas roayl family................well we already know about the kennedies and montauk and the boats with the immigrants ....sure every true blue blooded american knows this right !!!!!!!!!!!......well i do and i am not so go read and do something other than drive up my ass in fucking traffic..............
THE WORLD CUP
truly the greatest sporting event in history.....thats only because i do love football ...like many europeans we call it football because the ball is touched more with the foot than anywhere else its not soccer as its given in USA which drives euros crazy ...american football is hardly touched by feet but hey if thats whats eatin your ass then by all means call it thats we had the name first still spain got spanked oops poor spaniards bad losers stormed of like little bitches ....oh well ...there is nothing more worse folks than a sore loser .....oh yes there is a lying oil executive who is lying like a horse thief...still its big money thats all ...well we have 31 days of the word cup great love it ....
........MAY.........
I AM WAY BEHIND IN COMING INTO HERE BUT NOW I AM MOBILE ........I AM WAY TOO LAZY TO TURN OF THE CAP BUTTONS IT MAY LOOK LIKE I AM SHOUTING THATS WHAT PEOPLE SAY WHEN YOU HAVE THE CAPS ON ....SO I AM NOT GOING TURN THEM OFF ANYWAYS....SO ITS MAY ALREADY ..I AM TRYING TO SLOW DOWN IN LIFE BUT ITS NOT WORKING....THANK GOD I DO NOT HAVE KIDS THEY SAY IT GETS FASTER WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS ..THOSE PEOPLE WHO SAY PROBABLY HAVE LOADS OF KIDS ......SO SUMMER IS HERE AND IN THE SOUTH MAN ITS HOT ....I AM SWEATING LIKE A TURKISH BELLY DANCER ON PCP.......WILL BE BACK IN HERE.....WHEN I GET MORE TIME ...MAYBE ..I MAY EVEN GET THIS WEBSITE TOGETHER.....HMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!
well as always i have nothing really constructive to put in mostly bitching and whatever is in my head .....but i will say this the arab chick that won miss USA is really red hot nice ....its about time we had a bit of international flavour in these things as i am into the whole bellydancer look its right up my street ....i really have nothing more to put in here at the mo as nothing exciting is happening ....although i did see a micheal jackson tribute after a marlin mets game the guy was good but i was in the nosebleed section and was too lazy to go down and act like a fan this is why the have large screens for lazy shits like me ...........
june!!!!
its officially summertime!!!!!!
its summertime and its fricking hot...they tell s that there will be a bunch of hurricanes to hit florida ....they say this every year .....and usually the carribean takes it in the provebial ass....what fries my potatoes is they give them normal sounding names...like ...fred..matt...cecil...roger ......i mena WTF...call it a name like ...asswipe ,or douch...or douffus....they cause havoc and are not really welcome in fact they are about as welcome as an immigration officer ....in a strawberry field full of mexicans ..........so its fricking humid sticky and really hot here in soflo...my favourite mental institution on the whole planet ....ove it or leave it ....it is full of demented needy greedy dimwitted pretty chix ....but them again it could be worse...it can always be worse ...i could be shrimping in the gulf...that is about as much fun as having a pineapple inserted rectally ..without prior consent..........so here we are in the hot season lets see what it brings to us ...mean while i am in horsey country .....interesting
LION SAFARI COUNTRY PARK......
i had the pleasure to go to the lion country safari park as i am so close to the place i got the chance to visit it ........it is great to see such wonderful creatures in their glory.... before they are gone ....i decided to take a load of pics this one of the zebras ass was close and i got the chance so why the hell not ....... i do give credit to the staff that do that for a job i certainly could not ...as i do dearly love all animals the idea of getting my arm ripped off by a lion ...does not sound very appealing to me in anyway shape or form ...........and from time to time it does happen...or occasionally an assistant becomes a snack for one of the animals .....i do admit whats a hell of a way to go ...not for me though ......lion country safari is a great pace to savor the exotic animals form all corners of the world ......
WORLD CUP.......
this world cup is a pile of shit ....the referees do not speak english....half the time and they cannot even see goals ......the trouble with people who do not speak english is they fuck it up for those who do......mandarin and english are the two most prominent languages spoken on the planet on because there are more chinese on the planet than horseflies so there inevitably will be more chinese spoken but next of all english is the major language so how the hell does a referee get a fucking job in the world cup when he cannot speak english who the hell is running FIFA ...its a joke somone should be kicked in the nads for this crap .....and so on and so forth ........i have not been affected by the oil slick yet ......but i guess eventually i will slip on some of that shit and it will be time for me to beat an employee of BP how people are taking this crap is beyond me i guess people just lie down and do not fight anymore if this was france there would be all sorts of trouble ...so its still bloody hot i am still here and now i am done bitching i am going home to sit in the AC and hide ......
WORLD CUP
this is a poster at the hard rock casino
wall of cash pizza place in hollywood fla
zebras ass!!!!!
July
well i am sweating like john Edwards at a paternity hearing......i swear the summers get hotter here....most people agree with me ....well global warming does have it's advantages.....we do not need to worry about that anymore as BP has killed the oceans so we can all enjoy the UVA that will shrink us to the size of raisins .....my predictions for the world cup went pear shaped i think Germany will run amok but what the hell do i know now my stats were way off well may as well enjoy the heat after all .....its way better than the bloody cold snow !!!!!!
THANK GOD IT'S OVER
well the world cup has ended .....i am sort of glad i wished it would have been somewhere else south Africa was way too far away and way too hot ....although i think it might have been worse than Florida ,somewhat....so the next world cup is Brazil....this folks will be the greatest trip of all ...i already started saving for this one ...as i already have a fondness for the Brazillian women and like football this will be the pinnacle of a sporting dream ....so this will be my lifetime treat ....what a great country Brazil is beautiful ......well now that,s out the way back into the groove of summer and congrats to the octopus for picking the results should have followed that guy ...nice one...and people say animals are dumb ........hmmmmm!!!!..... speaking of animals the black German shepherd in the picture is George from yarrow valley he is a resident of one of the hotels and has a penchant for holding balloons ...Alistair is the proprietor of the hotel and this is his buddy ....
